There’s a truckdriver named, “Mr. Heat”. He’s so thirsty and his steel teeth never see enough to eat. He smokes Camaros. Some people smoke Camels. He likes camels. The desert kind. But every other animal he eats, blood flesh hide and all. He sits down and eats a bear.

     Bears look at him and when they smell him, they die. Then he eats the bear and drinks a few gallons of gasoline straight from the rig. Then he needs a smoke. He waits on the highway for a Camaro. When a Camaro comes along, they see his rig because it is on fire but it is all steel. The wheels are steel.

     Well the people pull up to help, but Mr. Heat is on fire and they say, “Stop drop and roll!!!” However, Mr. Heat picks up their Camaro and sucks the carbon monoxide straight out of the tailpipe. With his left hand, Mr. Heat hits the accelerator and breathes in all the CO¹ (Carbon MON-oxide). He uses up all their gas because he likes a good smoke after a Grizzly.

    Then he puts the Camaro down and says, “You are out of gas. Do you need a ride?”

     The people look at his rig made out of steel bones, soot and iron skulls ablaze. The people don’t move. Then Mr. Heat says, “Oh yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha!!! My rig is from the pit. Of HELL!!!!” Mr. Heat throws them a steel case and says, “Thanks for letting me smoke your Camaro. So smooth. Take $40,000 from my case. I’m outta here. I got time to BURN!!!! Open it when the steel case cooooools. Yeach.” (Mr. Heat feels like he wants to vomit when he thinks of cold. He vomits lava. He’s a liability ya think?)

The people usually don’t say anything but are pretty happy to hitchhike out with $40 ,000. Mr. Heat follows them from a distance. If anyone tries anything funny, Mr. Heat catches up and eats the car and bad people and calls Triple A to get them home.

Eskimos tell this story at Christmas. The kids love it. In Nunavut the Inuit pray for hell on Earth.